William Shakespeare was so proud to be English that he chose to enter and leave the world on the 23rd of April - St George's Day. As we celebrate England's national day, here are my Top 5 reasons why the English should be celebrated and thanked by the massed populous of the world:
- We invented a language called English, which rather caught on a few centuries ago (whilst we were invading and colonising other countries). Without the English language, "Desperate Housewives" would be in Spanish and nobody would be offended by Ricky Gervais.
- Without England; Scotland (or possibly Wales) would be a lot bigger and therefore more expensive to run; the Channel Tunnel would not lead anywhere from France; and international flights to London Heathrow would be unable to land.
- Without England and its people; the following things might not exist: the fire extinguisher; the World Wide Web; the steam turbine; postage stamps; the tin can; stainless steel; the small pox vaccine; general anaesthetic; the tank military vehicle; fighter jet aircraft; the hologram; the electromagnet; the hovercraft; the submarine; plastic; plasticine; the crossword puzzle; the comic book; silicone; the lawnmover; the electric toaster; DNA fingerprinting, retina scans; the internal combustion engine; and the mp3 player.
- We gave you James Bond; Harry Potter; Lord of the Rings; Bridget Jones; Downton Abbey and Doctor Who.
- Finally, we shared with you our secret weapon - Simon Cowell. Without him, you would not be enduring One Direction...
Happy St George's Day! Please charge your glasses for Her Majesty The Queen. God bless you, ma'am.